My Days are Numbered

I can't shake the notion that I only have a specific amount of time to achieve a specific goal, the details of which I am entirely uncertain of.  While the whole idea in itself seems insane, its more insane that I feel this way and continue to waste my time studying intro to sociology for credit hours. 

dumb clumps

Its funny to think that people are just clumps:

clumps of mass which make bones,

clumps of mass which make blood,

clumps of mass which make muscle, nerves,

and a coat of flesh and hair.

clumps which are often drawn to each other, particles, protons and electrons.

(the positive & negitive)

when clumps are drawn together they undoubtedly find it easy to forget the problems caused by other clumps and that which could draw them apart.

the evolution of mankind simply retards the specie more. there has to be a divinity because the result of complexity of mankind is so dumb it must have some overwhelming purpose... 

a little short

I feel like I am scrambling to catch the last moments of summer.

current interests:
cherry pie
finger waved hair

ouch.

When a child is injured they experience so much more than an adult. Or rather, they verbalize all of these emotions. Recently I was teaching young children how to make their own candles, and a young boy burnt himself.  In hysterics, he presented his knuckles and I selfishly abandoned my concern when I realized what had at first appeared to be horrible blistering was in fact only red wax.

I have been thinking about this young boy for weeks since, and comparable stories of my youth. I can very distinctly recall crashing my bike and running to my father for help, only to be sent into another panic concerning the outrageously painful antibacterial spray he used.

I swear to you, this ancient aerosol can must have been some medication which was handed down from generation to generation- and mercilessly never emptied. The can looked as though it were manufactured in the 60s, slightest bit of rust on the edges. When it was removed from the shelf is made a slight crack and left a ring of dust (although it was used weekly in my youth).

How odd that now I take a contradictory masochistic approach to the tending of my ails. As far as I am concerned: either my pleasure in these antibacterial pains came about when I became older an embittered, or somewhere in a subconscious core I am going through the same need for sympathy and help and subsequent misery in the burn of cleaners.

I wish to God that I had a picture of this can.

the windy city

Are you familiar with this piece of art work?

Well, essentially the concept is that you see the image of a pipe, but not a pipe. Hence 'This is not a pipe.'

are you familiar with this lady?

Well, I do a lot of time looking at images of her. Videochat and pictures, however are not real enough. I am going to see the real one in a few days, and I am so excited.

I know (almost) nothing about art

For centuries, great European artists mastered a style of art and worked hard to keep it beautiful and pure. I do not at all wish to belittle the quality or significance of this artwork; much of it is awe inspiring.

When one tours old European cities they expect to see this artwork, a beautiful representation of the past.

Today art is much more progressive, pushing to discover the next new 'thing'.  This isnt entirely true, trends do start. But what I really dont like is the chance that art might stagnate again.

I think its possible, yet unimaginable.

past present future

when I look back at life I view it as a story:

events seem quickly linked, and the insignificant drops from the plot. The moment often seems mundane, and only in the future will it gain meaning or a role in the story.

someone recently told me that we remember terrible things fondly because we are subconsciously pleased for remembering details. 

While this might be true, i choose to believe we can accept the sometimes terrible past as a comfort because from present perspective it seems to only be a chapter in a story which leads to the present.